Motorbikes

[Exiled In Surrey]

After drugged up sex and running a marathon on the spot in a night club (performance enhanced), motorcycling is the 3rd best way of spending your time for thrills and spills.

[Chip Shop Charlie]

When I was a nipper we lived above a motorbike shop in Manor Park, where my dad was the mechanic. According to my old mum the exhaust fumes used to come up through the floorboards so I guess the motorbike thing has just always been in my blood.
I passed my test back in 1975 on a BSA Bantam and still ride today on a collection of various old bikes. Yesterday I rode 210kms on my fully restored (by myself) 1955 Triumph T110. Still loving the freedom of the open road etc. 
I guess that it helps that I live part time in Spain were the weather is bike friendly 90% of the time so never get 'ring-rusty' during the winter months.  

[Mex Martillo]

Now now ladies, we all know motorcycles are not for everyone. Why is it the same old posters that seem to give a fuck about how I live and what I do. I can assure you I couldn't give a flying fuck about you, what you drive, how big your house is, your politics, where you go on holiday, what you do (or don't do) for a living or how much money you've got.

If there was a thread on here called 'cars' and I started bleating a bunch of shit that was completely wrong (and it would be - I don't know a thing about cars and probably wouldn't even open the thread) I'd actually LIKE someone to put me right and maybe learn something so I didn't look like an idiot the next time I opened my mouth on the subject.

Someone was talking about electric bikes and I opined why I didn't fancy owning one and inferring a reason why I think big, loud, noticeable bikes are certainly safer (not to mention fucking cool). Of course, having a fast bike or car is nowhere near as safe as sitting in the dark typing furiously at the thought that some stranger was trying to use up his/hir three score and ten doing something they found interesting.

You broke the old site and made a lot of people realise they didn't have to swim through the bile and I can (on my odd visit) see you're doing your best with this one. Well done, you're nothing if not consistent.

Can you do wheelies?

I have a sad ambition to do wheelies, but weight of my bike and small balls make it difficult!

[joe royal]

Was a motorcycle courier for about 15 years in my misspent youth, was a great time at the time. Had loads of mates that lived in the squats in Fillebrook rd and the squats in Brixton (90's eara) Parties in warehouses and railway arches and the odd visit to the red & white clubhouse in Hackney. 

Only bad accident i had was going to my dads one sunday, broke my right leg.

Last bike i owned was a GSXR 1000 K2 back in 2006, bought it to go to germany on for the world cup, great fun on the unrestricted autobahn. 

Sold it shortly after coming back as it hit 130 mph in the blink of an eye and i need my license for work. 

Never owned one since and only been on the back of two Chim's Rocket and another mates KX 650.

I make a terrible pillion passenger.

I look at them now on sunny days and check the piggy bank if i can afford one (i can) but realistically i'd never use it as i'm always working away in the summer months, plus living where i do it would probably get nicked. 

Was great in the 80's & 90's when there wasn't so many cameras about but for now i'll stick with my £800 renault megan  and my memories. 

[easthammer]

In 1964, I gained a full motorcycle licence by passing the test on a 150cc Lambretta wearing the obligatory Parka and a tiger tail streaming from the rear chrome carrier. A year or so later, four wheels became the preferred mode of transport, and I was licensed to drive pretty much anything except HGVs. Slow forward to my 70th Birthday, and unless I submitted myself to further questioning beyond confirming I was still alive and could see the small print on the application form, the DVLA, in its wisdom, said my capacity was limited to cars, vans, and minibuses and also tow trailers within the weight limits of about 3.5 tons. It seemed I was no longer able to drive larger minibuses or track-driven vehicles, so no tank invasions for me! My disappointment was somewhat lessened by the knowledge that I am still licensed to ride a motorcycle of any size, and the day hire of a Superbike would probably work out cheaper than a trip to Zurich, should I ever need an assisted suicide.
 

[Cabbige Savage]

Zeb, it is lovely but one of the reasons I got it was for a bit of comfort. My old bones can barely tolerate an hour on a sports bike. Sports bike sales are on their arse as they are meant to be ridden by young people but it's only old cunts who can afford to actually buy them, so its a bit of a mismatch.

Oi leave me out of it as I'm old cսnt with cycles....actually sold road bike few months ago as my days of 100 miles races are over and bought electric bike

 

 

Kach the cripple girl much farster on e bike!! 
You very krarfdy 

[XKhammer]

Zeb, it is lovely but one of the reasons I got it was for a bit of comfort. My old bones can barely tolerate an hour on a sports bike. Sports bike sales are on their arse as they are meant to be ridden by young people but it's only old cunts who can afford to actually buy them, so its a bit of a mismatch.

Oi leave me out of it as I'm old cսnt with cycles....actually sold road bike few months ago as my days of 100 miles races are over and bought electric bike

[chim chim cha boo]

Zeb, it is lovely but one of the reasons I got it was for a bit of comfort. My old bones can barely tolerate an hour on a sports bike. Sports bike sales are on their arse as they are meant to be ridden by young people but it's only old cunts who can afford to actually buy them, so its a bit of a mismatch.

[Eerie Decent]

Now now ladies, we all know motorcycles are not for everyone. Why is it the same old posters that seem to give a fuck about how I live and what I do. I can assure you I couldn't give a flying fuck about you, what you drive, how big your house is, your politics, where you go on holiday, what you do (or don't do) for a living or how much money you've got.

If there was a thread on here called 'cars' and I started bleating a bunch of shit that was completely wrong (and it would be - I don't know a thing about cars and probably wouldn't even open the thread) I'd actually LIKE someone to put me right and maybe learn something so I didn't look like an idiot the next time I opened my mouth on the subject.

Someone was talking about electric bikes and I opined why I didn't fancy owning one and inferring a reason why I think big, loud, noticeable bikes are certainly safer (not to mention fucking cool). Of course, having a fast bike or car is nowhere near as safe as sitting in the dark typing furiously at the thought that some stranger was trying to use up his/hir three score and ten doing something they found interesting.

You broke the old site and made a lot of people realise they didn't have to swim through the bile and I can (on my odd visit) see you're doing your best with this one. Well done, you're nothing if not consistent.

Can you do wheelies?

[Massive Attack]

Chillaaaax bro.

[chim chim cha boo]

Now now ladies, we all know motorcycles are not for everyone. Why is it the same old posters that seem to give a fuck about how I live and what I do. I can assure you I couldn't give a flying fuck about you, what you drive, how big your house is, your politics, where you go on holiday, what you do (or don't do) for a living or how much money you've got.

If there was a thread on here called 'cars' and I started bleating a bunch of shit that was completely wrong (and it would be - I don't know a thing about cars and probably wouldn't even open the thread) I'd actually LIKE someone to put me right and maybe learn something so I didn't look like an idiot the next time I opened my mouth on the subject.

Someone was talking about electric bikes and I opined why I didn't fancy owning one and inferring a reason why I think big, loud, noticeable bikes are certainly safer (not to mention fucking cool). Of course, having a fast bike or car is nowhere near as safe as sitting in the dark typing furiously at the thought that some stranger was trying to use up his/hir three score and ten doing something they found interesting.

You broke the old site and made a lot of people realise they didn't have to swim through the bile and I can (on my odd visit) see you're doing your best with this one. Well done, you're nothing if not consistent.

[Massive Attack]

"huge 2500cc motorcycle with its race-tuned Competition Werkes exhaust system and dual headlights"



It's a this point where everyone at the party starts slowly edging away...

And Alan Partridge simultaneously enters the room sporting his Castrol GTX Jacket.

[Eerie Decent]

"huge 2500cc motorcycle with its race-tuned Competition Werkes exhaust system and dual headlights"



It's a this point where everyone at the party starts slowly edging away...

[zebthecat]

You must have a Rocket chim.
A friend of mine would be extremely jealous.

[chim chim cha boo]

Maybe you should have a go at reading the highway code Stickleback before espousing your car driving genius on here?

I'll help a bit if you like. Lane filtering is perfectly legal in the UK and so is going alongside the outside of traffic (into what some of you seem to mistake as the 'wrong' or 'oncoming' lane). There's no such thing as 'the wrong lane' unless there's an unbroken white line in the road.

In fact you in your car can undertake at times. If a car or other vehicle is say, doing 50mph in the middle lane of a motorway or 30 something in the outside lane of a dual carriageway it's perfectly legal to 'undertake' the aforementioned car on the motorway at a speed of up to 70mph and 60mph on the dual carriageway (the national speed limits on those roads) and of course making sure it's safe to pass.

In the case of electric bikes in cities I hate the idea of going down the outside lane in complete silence because so many dicks get fed up sitting in traffic that they decide on another route and try a quick u-turn without looking in their rear mirrors first.

I like to think that I am polite enough to do some of your thinking for you so that the fact that a huge 2500cc motorcycle with its race-tuned Competition Werkes exhaust system and dual headlights is always subtly reminding you it's there. It's the least I can do.
 

[zebthecat]

As someone who is hopeless on a normal bike buying one was a huge mistake when I was younger.
The experiment ended pretty quickly in a stream near the RIbblehead viaduct.

[Stickleback]

Motorcyclists have a god-given right to an extra lane between every two car lanes and car drivers should not be surprised when motorbikes suddenly appear at high speed along these special lanes.

[XKhammer]

I have full motorbike licence but not interested anymore riding them as too many dopey and dangerous car drivers on the road 

[Eerie Decent]

Mobility Scooter.

[Tomshardware]

Every motorbike enthusiast/regular rider I've ever met has been an absolute wet wipe.

 

What bike have you got?

[Mex Martillo]

You have to watch out for cars, all my worst or near death moments have been a car pulling out or doing something unexpected. But hate to say all my falling off have been me messing up my front wheel breaking.
The comments on this thread do highlight what a bunch of old cunts we are.

[devonhammer]

As a paramedic I can attest to this....
Attended a car Vs motorbike RTC just the other week.....the rider didn't survive 

[Eerie Decent]

Every motorbike enthusiast/regular rider I've ever met has been an absolute wet wipe.
 

[RBshorty]

Mobile Organ Donors.

[Mex Martillo]

Love them.
I have a 1998 fireblade for going to work.
I get to work nice and quick!

[matchless]

Nah - nothing better. If only I were still well enough to ride. Sigh.