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The Ashes.
Posted: 15 Nov 2025, 06:52
by only1billybonds
Just been announced that Josh Hazlewood will miss the first test due to start in Perth next Friday. This is a big blow to the Australians as they will already be without their captain and no.1 pace bowler Pat Cummins.
Englands preparations for the tour has been questioned by many as they have opted to play no warm up games aside from a one off against the English lions.
Many are saying that its crucial that we get of to a good start in Perth which basically means we cant afford to lose seeing as the 2nd test in Brisbane is a day/night game ( fucking ridiculous) where the Aussies are strongly fancied.
Looking forward to this now but really unsure of how it will play out, I guess I'd still make them slight favourites due to home advantage. Going to be a few all nighters in the coming weeks for me, let's hope it'll be worth it.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 12:32
by Fat, Bald n 50
McCullum needs to go after this series, 2 humiliating defeats, the preposturous "we over prepared" There needs to be a complete clear out from selectors downwards. No other side collapse in Australia like we are doing.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 12:12
by Fauxstralian
Broad was the decisive factor in some of Englands home Ashes win
More of a danger than Anderson who averaged 35 with the ball in Ashes series and imagine lost more Ashes Tests than any Englishman alive. Or dead
Always difficult to comment fairly on players you played with
Of course he was the one who OPINED that this was the worst Australian team in 15 years vs the best England team
Australia only had Khawaja in place in their top 3 & only redeeming feature was Cummins Starc Hazlewood & Lyon
England have just lost to a team without Khawaja & only Starc of those 4
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 11:59
by southbankbornnbred
Takashi Miike" wrote: ↑08 Dec 2025, 11:03
that 'overprepared' line from mccollum, amazing
He is delusional, more than any of them (which is saying something).
An imposter who tried to sell “magic beans” to gnarly fuckers who know magic beans don’t exist. But, when presented with the evidence, just covers his ears and shouts “MAGIC BEANS!”
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 11:03
by Takashi Miike
that 'overprepared' line from mccollum, amazing

Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 11:00
by stubbo-admin
***Can we be mindful that it's a time of year that is difficult for many, and we never quite know who is affected by mental health troubles.
Call each other a cսnt by any means, but let's not go in on mental health issues ***
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 10:28
by BerlingtonBertie
Mentally weak Django - so its relevant.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 10:02
by Westham67
From Key downward, they have deluded themselves for a few years that their cunning plan would work in Australia, and now they cannot change their ways because they have all drunk the Kool-Aid of Bazball.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 09:34
by only1billybonds
SB.
Yea, thats fair, Broad was still very much an integral part of the set up just 18 months ago.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 09:31
by Django
BerlingtonBertie wrote: ↑07 Dec 2025, 11:29
Makes me laugh seeing Trescothick around the team - a bloke who once flew home from an Ashes series from mental health/depression as a player and left his team mates in the lurch. So whats he doing around the squad now.
Of all the issues around the England team, you chose to comment on this.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 09:16
by southbankbornnbred
only1billybonds wrote: ↑08 Dec 2025, 09:13
Absolutely loved Broad as a bowler, no one has given more while wearing an England shirt.
But as a pundit/podcaster he is piss poor. All his mates are still part of the England set up and he finds it almost impossible to speak hard truths about the performances so far.
His loyalty is commendable but he just cannot be taken seriously in his current role.
That will fade over time, though, as it did with Botham, Hussain and Atherton etc.
As his ex-teammates retire, he’ll get more critical. He’s also getting used to being a pundit. Agnew and others started out piss poor. You grow into it.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 09:14
by southbankbornnbred
zebthecat wrote: ↑07 Dec 2025, 20:58
There is one ray of hope in that Ben Stokes was obviously pissed off with the team's performance. His own captaincy has not helped with the persistent short stuff and never putting anyone at third man either.
The problem is who the hell can you bring in to replace those players who are not up to it?
You can’t. This tour is over. They’ve bet the house on Bazball. They don’t have a plan B, because - like all cults - they think only their “way” is correct.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 09:13
by only1billybonds
Absolutely loved Broad as a bowler, no one has given more while wearing an England shirt.
But as a pundit/podcaster he is piss poor. All his mates are still part of the England set up and he finds it almost impossible to speak hard truths about the performances so far.
His loyalty is commendable but he just cannot be taken seriously in his current role.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 09:09
by southbankbornnbred
It’s been hilariously cringe-inducing watching the England leadership (McCullum, Stokes etc) continue to double-down on spouting Bazball bollocks, while the entire world is looking at them like they’re fucking mental.
Watch Broad’s body language while McCullum is wanging on.
It really has become an insane cult.
Not a word of contrition, despite being murdered by a pretty average Aussie side (by their standards, and due to injuries) in two tests.
It’s really hard to like this England side because the leadership are so arrogant.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 08:57
by Far Cough UKunt
Pathetic excuse, just come out and say we're not that very good.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 08 Dec 2025, 08:53
by Westham67
McCullum's comment about England being "Overtrained " raised a few eyebrows in the cricketing world because they had not prepared for Australian conditions. Some of our batsmen (Batters, sorry) had not faced a pink ball.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 07 Dec 2025, 21:16
by Massive Attack
Well Root at least stepped up and tried his bollocks off, so players form can change however he is an exceptional talent who has that in him. Many others dont possess that ability but they've got to at least match his heart and giving it his all. I can't say the same for quite a few of them and fingers are also pointing at Bazza to get stuck in to them. I want to see them going hammer and tong next Test with anger and fire in their bellies, which they haven't shown thus far, the soft as shit bunch of articles.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 07 Dec 2025, 20:58
by zebthecat
There is one ray of hope in that Ben Stokes was obviously pissed off with the team's performance. His own captaincy has not helped with the persistent short stuff and never putting anyone at third man either.
The problem is who the hell can you bring in to replace those players who are not up to it?
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 07 Dec 2025, 20:40
by Massive Attack
It's highly unlikely now we'll turn this around but it would be nice to think Smiths comments inspire the Team on to perform out of their skin from here on in. Up till now, it has been mostly pitiful.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 07 Dec 2025, 20:14
by zebthecat
Oh FFS!
Can you stop trying to make this thread into another tedious argument fest please.
Thank you
Yes, the sandpaper thing was pretty depicable but this England team are every bit as irritiating, arrogant and entitled as the Australian team.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 07 Dec 2025, 19:28
by only1billybonds
I've always said that the reason for all those tears from Smith and Warner was because they got caught, not through any sense of shame. And yes, Bancroft was fed to the media in an effort to deflect some blame away from himself ( Smith).
I wonder if he thinks it was worthwhile now. In many people's eyes, his batsmanship is not the first thing he'll be remembered for. Sobbing like a dumped 14 year old girl in front of the world's sports media, holding meetings in the dressing room discussing the best ways to cheat and throwing a young colleague under the bus will always spring to mind before people acknowledge what a fine batsman he has been.
If you throw in Warners demented celebration when De Villiers got run out and Lyon deliberately dropping the ball directly on an opponent who lay on the floor, then it isnt hard to work out why so many dislike this mob.
Lastly, I often wonder if the antics around sandpapergate cast any doubts on the sucsess of previous Aussie teams. Is this 'win at all costs' mentality a one off involving Smith et al or is it just something they do? Who knows.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 07 Dec 2025, 18:40
by southbankbornnbred
He’s also the cheating cսnt who hung his young underling, Cam Bancroft, out to dry when they all got caught cheating red-handed. As the captain who commissioned sandpapergate, he went into the press conference after that day’s play and, when asked why the umpires were fining them all and referring the incident, Smith dodged the question and asked Bancroft to explain the situation.
What a completely disloyal, spineless cսnt bag of shit. It later emerged that the “senior leadership” (captain and vice-captain) knew about the sandpaper. Cue lots of tears.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 07 Dec 2025, 18:31
by southbankbornnbred
Far Cough UKunt" wrote: ↑07 Dec 2025, 18:29
Is this the same Steve Smith who was crying his eyes out over the ball sandpapering? What a fucking "champ".
Yep - that’s the cսnt. The cheating cսnt who cried in front of his dad, and the whole world, not because he regretted his actions but because he regretted getting caught. It was all very sad. Apparently.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 07 Dec 2025, 18:29
by Far Cough UKunt
Is this the same Steve Smith who was crying his eyes out over the ball sandpapering? What a fucking "champ".
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 07 Dec 2025, 18:19
by southbankbornnbred
Fauxstralian wrote: ↑07 Dec 2025, 16:55
Steve Smith to Jofra Archer when he gave him some lip :
“Where were you when they needed you. Bowl fast when there is nothing going on, champion”
Not really an English expression but in Australian sport to ‘champ’ someone is a major insult. Means I think you are a cսnt
You’re welcome
Whatever Steve Smith says to Archer, however clever he thinks he’s being, Archer will always be able to say he knocked the cheating cսnt out cold. England have been a shambles on this tour. But if I were Smith, the one bloke I’d not sledge is the guy who already, famously fucked him over and had his teammates worried about his health.
Re: The Ashes.
Posted: 07 Dec 2025, 16:55
by Fauxstralian
Steve Smith to Jofra Archer when he gave him some lip :
“Where were you when they needed you. Bowl fast when there is nothing going on, champion”
Not really an English expression but in Australian sport to ‘champ’ someone is a major insult. Means I think you are a cսnt
You’re welcome