West Ham Online

"Been divorced since Sept 2021 and thought I may get back to dating. Very inexperienced with the new dating scene. So went on Match. So met a Nurse, Mid 50s like me and we have been dating, she has been on dating sites 6 years ? We have been sharing a bed for a few months.. She is still advertising herself on Match, am I a mug.. I asked her why and she said we have not had the chat so we are not exclusive ?? WTF is that ?"

Do you like the way he pipes your macaroons?

Nothing Eerie I am.sure he is grand but I am.already chatting to.someone I like.

"Have some respect, Nuts. Debs is not that sort of girl."

Bend her over and treat her like a farm animal. She’ll be following you around for weeks.

"Why, what's wrong with Paul?"

Not all.Eerie just trying be helpful.

I think Debs is flirting here. Paul's praying we draw Darlington in the cup...

"Good point. So what are some activities where you would expect women outnumber men? Dance classes? Foreign language lessons? Baking frigging macaroons or something equally frivolous. It's all really cringey, but faint heart never won fair lady, and those apps/online dating sites sound bloody awful."

"Fifth Column 1:44 Tue Sep 19 Good job you're not a comedian, or you'd be bang in trouble..."

Well I met the estranged husband at football. To be fair the odds of that happening for you arent in your favour.....but you never know.

"You looking for ideas, Paul? I would avoid pubs and clubs. There's that website 'Meet up'. It's not a dating site, it's a way of finding groups of people in your area who share similar interests. Be it pottery, skiing, photography, history of art, Jack the Ripper. Or you could go on train journeys. This is a weird one, but I so frequently get chatted up when I'm travelling on a train that I'm convinced it must be a thing people do."

"Debs.. Appreciate that, thank you. Online Dating is not for me."

Paul....wise choice. Might be better meeting someone through your hobbies etc

Loving the input.. I would never give up the details of someone I was intimate with even though she does spread it about.. This has been an eye opener for me and has actually shocked me.. I never realised and she made me feel like I was the unhinged fucking one of us !!! I have put Match to rest.. Fuck all that.

"Nurse, you should have dated his mate, Ralph Malph."

"Once out of my teens I don’t think I have ever dated anyone that dresses to a style of music. The two that did, one was a massive fan of Boy George and had coloured rags in her hair, the other one I met at a Soft Cell convention so she had the black eyeliner & boots combo. Looked a bit weird on a ginger. Have never dated anyone with false tits or dreadlocks."

FACTAMUNDO

FACTAMUNDO

".....""It was when he tried to put two thumbs up whilst saying Aaaaaaay, I made my excuses and left."""

Arf!

"Not exactly happy days then, Nurse"

"Nurse, that's brilliantly cringe thank you for sharing. I believe that in modern parlance is call an 'ick'"

"My worst date: I was about 20 and working as a civil servant in an office with a public counter, where the people would come in and use our service. This handsome bloke would come in once every couple of weeks, dressed in his mechanic's overalls. Sometimes I'd get to deal with him, sometimes it would be my colleagues, but we would say hello to each other, exchange smiles, etc. For background, unlike on here, in real life/meatspace I am very shy and a total social spastic. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing where men are concerned, even now. Just can't work it all out and it always goes wrong. Well back then I was even worse, so a lovely colleague followed the bloke out one day and said ""'Nurse' likes you. Are you interested?"" This led to a date. We met in a pub and for the first time I saw him in his 'civvies'. He was dressed like a 1950s teddyboy. Fonzy hairdo, the lot. All his conversation was about 1950s music, clothes and stuff. The teddyboy outfit was how he dressed 'normally'. I didn't see him again. My choice, I assure you."

Fifth Column 1:44 Tue Sep 19 And how long have you now been married to her?

Fifth Column 1:44 Tue Sep 19 I have only ever done the scampi nik naks finger sniff in the car on my way home. Must be weird doing it on the train. Did you have to go to the buffet for a packet to provide you with an alibi?