The Ashes.

[only1billybonds]

Just been announced that Josh Hazlewood will miss the first test due to start in Perth next Friday. This is a big blow to the Australians as they will already be without their captain and no.1 pace bowler Pat Cummins.

Englands preparations for the tour has been questioned by many as they have opted to play no warm up games aside from a one off against the English lions. 

Many are saying that its crucial that we get of to a good start in Perth which basically means we cant afford to lose seeing as the 2nd test in Brisbane is a day/night game ( fucking ridiculous) where the Aussies are strongly fancied.

Looking forward to this now but really unsure of how it will play out, I guess I'd still make them slight favourites due to home advantage. Going to be a few all nighters in the coming weeks for me, let's hope it'll be worth it.

[Eastside surge]

Don’t want to jinx it obviously but that’s a decent enough start , be good to put them under some pressure for a change!

[Massive Attack]

Much better batting this 2nd Test. A little risky at times but to be expected playing Bazball. These 2 are beginning to motor along getting runs on the board. Keep it up!

[happygilmore]

Looks like The Ashes are over already.

Heads should roll after this debacle. McCullum and Stokes should both be sacked.

Crawley, Pope and Stokes should all be dropped.

Brook should be told to buck his ideas up else he will be dropped.

None of the above will happen though as it's just one big boys club under Key.

The pitch has nothing in it. Bat sensibily and England could rack up a big score here

[Westham67]

511 All out England 177 behind
 

The last time we won the Ashes in Australia, Strauss, Cook and Trott scored 517- 1 to draw the match at the Gabba 2010/11 Tour

Our bowlers are fucked because they are not match fit. I assume Starc will open the bowling. I fear the worst that our openers wont try to see him off to the first change of bowler but go after him

[onsideman]

Obviously a benign pitch and every convict batsman into double figures... but 4 ducks for us. What's wrong with this picture?

[only1billybonds]

Well if we were ever going to bat sensibly and properly, it'll be in the 2nd innings of this game.
But it'll be no surprise if a minimum of 4 wickets are lost as a result of batsmen playing needless and ridiculous wafting shots!

[Come On You Irons]

Looks like The Ashes are over already.

Heads should roll after this debacle. McCullum and Stokes should both be sacked.

Crawley, Pope and Stokes should all be dropped.

Brook should be told to buck his ideas up else he will be dropped.

None of the above will happen though as it's just one big boys club under Key.

[Westham67]

Cummings back for the 3rd test

[stubbo-admin]

Sent this message to my mate yesterday when Brook got out...all a little bit predictable unfortunately:

England will limp to about 320 I reckon here, pat themselves on the back for job well done, then Aussie will go and graft out nearly 500 and beat us by tea on day 4

[only1billybonds]

Australia 450/8 at end of 1st session, a lead of 116.

When we eventually bowl these out, the absolute minimum requirement will be to be batting til this time tomorrow. 
However, it wont be a massive shock if we get skittled out without an Aussie batsman having to strap his pads on.
Broook,Pope and Stokes in particular really need to step up now. The ease with which Boland dealt with the bowlers is an indication of how docile the wicket has become. 
The oncoming evening conditions could prove a massive factor though.
Looking more and more that this series was lost in that 2nd innings in Perth.

[Massive Attack]

Emily Thornberry vibes.. Come on England!



 

[Ron Eff]

I’ve said this before, many years ago, but supporting the country you live in, rather than the one you were born and have a natural affiliation to, is the mark of a cսnt.

Goading about results or play makes you double the cսnt. Soppy prick. 

[Eerie Decent]

Australian wicket takers - Scott Boland 5
Remaining wicket takers - Mongrels 24

[Fauxstralian]

Jibes?
How very dare you

Actually the Australian wicket takers by birth are:
Australia 28
S Africa 1 (Michael Neser)
England 1 (Josh Inglis’s run out of Kaptain Kiwi)

[Westham67]

I dont bite at Sven/Faux's jibes, they amuse me,

It's a shambles. No State or preparation matches. Wood is out until the 4th test at best. England got slammed on the BBC Sport podcast by BBC cricket top brass for their second innings in Perth.

No lessons learned for the 2nd test. Pick, Jack's scores 18 and goes for 9 in one over and then is taken off unless Stokes wanted a fast bowler to change ends; he was too expensive to continue. Our number 11 gets 38. Without that, we're 82 behind with the Aussies having 4 wickets remaining.

A commentator called it dumb cricket. England's second innings of this test will be the sounding board for dumb cricket. I cannot see them doing anything other than what they have been doing under this regime, batting-wise. I hope I am wrong and we win the series 

[Eerie Decent]

Aussie wicket takers in this series so far:

Australia 5
Rest of the World 24

[Fauxstralian]

Those English Ashes wicket takers in full so far in the series
S Africa 8
New Zealand 7
Barbados 3
England 0

Think any lead is less important than delaying the bowling innings  to as late as possible on Day 3
Carey & Neser (really an all rounder ) at the crease & Starc to come 
Just a shame that 5 players got to 40 but no one went past Wetherald’s 72

[only1billybonds]

Whether its (very) poor shot selection, an hour of wayward bowling or dropping regulation catches  we always find a way of handing the initiative to the Aussies. Fully expect them to take a healthy lead into the 2nd session tomorrow that will bring about the inevitable collapse. Hope I'm wrong but history suggests otherwise.

[Come On You Irons]

Australia will probably get a 100 plus lead here.

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic from Bazball's England.

[Fauxstralian]

Crucial session tomorrow 
Australia need to bat as deep as possible in session 1
Ideally would get through 1 & 2 & have a new ball in the TWILIGHT 
Lots of starts but no one really went on
Fairly typical in d/n

[twoleftfeet]

Expensive drop by Ben Fuckett.

[stubbo-admin]

Australia seem to be cheating. 

Instead of feeding us a couple of cheap wickets after each hard fought one, or flailing at every single short ball....they seem to be making us work hard for every wicket, as well as being SELECTIVE in which balls they take on.

Seems very unfair that the two teams aren't playing by the same set of standards?!

Bazball? Cuntball more like.

[Eerie Decent]

Atkinson becoming a bit of a worry. Although he's been the most economical, he hasn't taken a wicket yet in 3 innings. I reckon of all our bowlers, Tongue would've been my pick with the pink ball, that's by the by now though.

[Eastside surge]

Catches win matches

[Eerie Decent]

I did say Smith was shit. He’s not even the best keeper at his County. Baz fucked up big time. 

He averages 47 with the bat, mostly batting with the tail. Foakes on the other hand averages 29 in Tests. Weird you're constantly digging him out, the focus of any anger within the team should be on Crawley, Pope & Stokes, their batting over the last couple of years overall has been a disgrace. The most sensible tweak for now would be to move Smith up to 3 to concentrate solely on his batting, and give Pope the gloves, when he bats at 7 he looks a different player.

Every keeper drops the odd ball, and he along with Duckett were the only 2 out to genuinely good balls in the first innings. You're a plank focusing on him, he's the least of our worries.

He is living off past success. His highest score in the last 7 matches is 33, he looks lethargic which is due to the fact he doesn’t keep wicket enough. Foakes can stick around plus his glovework is far superior. You can’t argue with facts. I’d rather have Bairstow than Smith. 

 

 

The facts are he averages 47 in Tests, Foakes averages 29.

Smith will be a top class batsman for England, once the management is panned off after this series, hopefully we get someone sensible in who will make the right calls. Hameed or Sibley, who averaged 70 this summer, to be given another chance at the top of the order, both have gone away and really worked at their games, Smith at 3, Rehan Ahmed to come in now he's sorted his batting out. I'd also bring in Cox to keep. A batting order like this..

Sibley
Duckett
Smith
Root
Brook
Cox (wk)
Stokes
Ahmed

Miles better than the set up at the moment.