The Ashes.

[only1billybonds]

Just been announced that Josh Hazlewood will miss the first test due to start in Perth next Friday. This is a big blow to the Australians as they will already be without their captain and no.1 pace bowler Pat Cummins.

Englands preparations for the tour has been questioned by many as they have opted to play no warm up games aside from a one off against the English lions. 

Many are saying that its crucial that we get of to a good start in Perth which basically means we cant afford to lose seeing as the 2nd test in Brisbane is a day/night game ( fucking ridiculous) where the Aussies are strongly fancied.

Looking forward to this now but really unsure of how it will play out, I guess I'd still make them slight favourites due to home advantage. Going to be a few all nighters in the coming weeks for me, let's hope it'll be worth it.

[Swiss.]

31 wickets have now fallen within two days play. Awful shocker of a wicket.

Highlight which of those 31 wickets was solely down to the pitch and then we can have a proper grown up conversation. I won't hold my breath

Exactly and they made 202 - 2 . Hardly a shit score. 

[Swiss.]

Head the cսnt loves playing against us. So we bowl crap short stuff and they bazball it. Twats all of them. Our confidence will be shattered . Problem we have had is the upper order has been shit since Cook retired. We’ve papered over the cracks by Root getting a lot of runs at 4 and the middle order smashing runs . That ain’t gonna work in Australia. 

[Swiss.]

I knew it was going one of 2 ways and feared this. Bazball is shit in Aussie conditions as I said before. We were 59 for 1 when I went to sleep. Expected to wake up to score like 350 for 7…jeez WTF happened.

Cummins and Hazelwood back next test. We are fucked a 5-0 thrashing . I won’t even bother to watch .

[Fauxstralian]

Root has the technique and has scored 9 fifties in 29 innings in Australia although he averages 33
Dragged one on today but the shot he relieves any pressure in England … the dab down to third man for a single … is a low percentage shot when the ball lifts off a length 
Youd think on his 4th tour he’d have put that away

[zebthecat]

England are a pushover when they try to play Baaaaaazball against the Aussies.

The approach to bowling is bang on. The batting is just impatient, excuse-laden pub-team slogging.

This is not a great Aussie side. But this series will end 4-0 or similar unless England ditch their spineless approach to batting. Getting bowled out in 32 overs - like a shit one-day side - in test matches is a dereliction of duty.

Well it was until Ben Stokes somehow came to the conclusion that banging it in short againt Travis Head was a wise move and then stuck to it.

[onsideman]

Chef... or Goochie... or frankly anyone with a solid technique and capable of picking his shots and playing every ball on it's merits

Root is the only one we have.

Yes he is... seemingly until he pads up down under

[southbankbornnbred]

England are a pushover when they try to play Baaaaaazball against the Aussies.

The approach to bowling is bang on. The batting is just impatient, excuse-laden pub-team slogging.

This is not a great Aussie side. But this series will end 4-0 or similar unless England ditch their spineless approach to batting. Getting bowled out in 32 overs - like a shit one-day side - in test matches is a dereliction of duty.

[Far Cough UKunt]

No excuses, just fuck right off!

[Come On You Irons]

A sub two day test. Let's hope the Indian Cricket Council comes down hard on the cheats.

[zebthecat]

This England team learns nothing, ever.

[Fauxstralian]

There is plenty of talk about this Australian team not being too popular with the home fans …. Khawaja is too Muslim, Cummins is too woke … but everyone LOVES Sir Travis 
Proper old school cricketer who you could imagine walking out with Lillee & Marsh or having a beer with Merv Hughes
Often feast or famine but when the occasion demands … the WTC final a couple of years ago, the ODI World Cup final against India in India … he steps up

Woke up & saw England were going to lunch with a lead of 99 & 9 wickets in hand. To then be beaten by stumps is catastrophic 
Any opener can make a duck against the new ball in the hands of the best bowlers but Crawley is behind the eight ball after one Test
That said I think McCullum (with Key) behind him would see dropping him as an admission of failure. He will be at Brisbane

Cummins will come back but suspect they will be more cautious with Hazlewood 
Personally I think having a 39yo opener not able to open in either innings is indefensible. I’d bring Renshaw or Kellaway in for Khawaja but unlikely to happen

[zebthecat]

Crawley appears to be teflon, no chance of that useless cսnt getting the chop.

Yeah but he gets a ton once in every 20 innings.
His median score is 17.5 which is dreadful.

[violator]

Crawley appears to be teflon, no chance of that useless cսnt getting the chop.

[zebthecat]

Chef... or Goochie... or frankly anyone with a solid technique and capable of picking his shots and playing every ball on it's merits

Root is the only one we have.

[only1billybonds]

This is nothing to do with the pitch, playing personell or conditions. This debacle is the result of a dereliction of responsibility, the fundamentals of test cricket batting have been completely ignored by England's better batsmen and they should be loudly condemned by anyone who cares about the state of the game . There is no room for disappointment after this, just anger at the complacency shown by people whe really should know better!

[onsideman]

Chef... or Goochie... or frankly anyone with a solid technique and capable of picking his shots and playing every ball on it's merits

[twoleftfeet]

It needed a Sir Chef type player to hold the innings together but sadly we don’t have one of those. 

[Eastside surge]

Our best chance to win a test in this series when they were missing two fast bowlers including the skipper, momentum totally blown out of the water and series over in my opinion 

[stubbo-admin]

Standard England of late and under the guy in charge of this team. Reckless batting, with no focus on building a score. 

Full of bombast, but looks like utter cunts when it fails in the face of a team that play proper test cricket. The Aussies in this game are going to make us look totally embarrassing....100 learning a low scoring game and you only set 200 to chase on a SECOND day pitch.

England deserve the absolute pasting they'll get here.

It's the 'Angeball' of cricket. Looks good against minnows but gets completely undone against a proper side.

[twoleftfeet]

Wood - not fit enough.
Crawley - not good enough.

[onsideman]

31 wickets have now fallen within two days play. Awful shocker of a wicket.

Highlight which of those 31 wickets was solely down to the pitch and then we can have a proper grown up conversation. I won't hold my breath

[Massive Attack]

It would have to take heroic bowling again from Stokes to give us any hope now. 

[goose]

Pathetic from England.

[Come On You Irons]

This has been a shocking performance by England. And 31 wickets have now fallen within two days play. Awful shocker of a wicket.

[onsideman]

Some proper batting at the start here for the convicts proving there's nothing wrong with the wicket, just with the techniques