New Limerick Thread

[les marteaux]

Same as before The football we play to be blunt Is to most West Ham fans an affront

[Helmut Shown]

"Oh bollocks For entertaining all the plebs, We have zero talent celebs. From Gemma Collins to Mark Wright And that made in Chelsea shite Rich twats and airhead debs On Naked Attraction he stood Ashamed of his small manhood"

[Helmut Shown]

"Though TOWIE was once all the rage, It's right that we now turn the page The excruciating titbits Of these Brentwood fuckwits For those with a low mental age On Naked Attraction he stood Ashamed of his small manhood"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Though TOWIE was once all the rage, It's right that we now turn the page Folk from shows like these, Now called ""celebrities,"" Makes me mad, I'm showing my age. For entertaining all the plebs, We have zero talent celebs."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"In Essex you still see some cocks Wearing suits and a pair of white socks The floppy pan handles Do also wear sandals That came in a big orange box. Though TOWIE was once all the rage, It's right that we now turn the page"

[Helmut Shown]

"Thus endeth the lesson - ""D"" minus, A grade, you'll agree, not your finest Please take the time To make your lines rhyme I say with a great deal of wryness In Essex you still see some cocks Wearing suits and a pair of white socks"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"Now it is hip to be woke Be careful how you deliver a joke But, please take your time To make your lines rhyme Especially the last one, which often carries the ""punch"" of the limerick and should follow the pattern of the first two lines. Thus endith the lesson - ""D"" minus, A grade, you'll agree, not your finest."

[Side of Ham]

Now everyone shops out of town The stores on the High Street close down So the best thing to do Is have a good poo Whilst doing it all online instead Now it is hip to be woke Be careful how you deliver a joke

[Mike Oxsaw]

"There was a young man called Frank Got a job in a high street bank He was really a felon, Who killed a wild heron, The same as that poster named Gank. Now everyone shops out of town The stores on the High Street close down"

[Helmut Shown]

"There was a girl called Carolina, The daughter of an old coal miner A bit rough at the edges Shagged blokes behind hedges Or sometimes on daddy's recliner There was a young man called Frank Got a job in a high street bank"

[arsene york-hunt]

"Putin's a wanker, agreed? He has a large ego to feed. This foul Russian shit From reality's split. For régime change there is need. There was a girl called Carolina, The daughter of an old coal miner"

[Helmut Shown]

"My last Limerick made me feel sick But some birds their bean they would flick Two fingers inserted She finally squirted But it doesn't replace a fat prick Putin's a wanker, agreed? He has a large ego to feed"

[cup of tea]

His trousers were covered in spatter I suspect that he's a brown hatter Sweetcorn on his cock The seagulls would all flock And feast on his corn covered faecal matter My last Limerick made me feel sick But some birds their bean they would flick

[Helmut Shown]

"Playing cricket gays should do well, There good at the crease, I've heard tell If they've just had a dump What they do with a stump Creates a very bad smell His trousers were covered in spatter I suspect that he's a brown hatter"

[arsene york-hunt]

"It really is a headscratcher Why anyone voted for Thatcher, This vile old shitbag, With a face like a nag For cuntiness no-one could match 'er. Playing cricket gays should do well, There good at the crease, I've heard tell"

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

A man from a country called Greece Put his arse up for sale on a lease If you are queer It's a tenner a year Not that much for poking a crease It really is a headscratcher Why anyone voted for Thatcher

[cup of tea]

As she crouched down and got on all fours He pulled down the back of her drawers her fanny looked a dish But stunk of raw fish In fact like a crab with big claws A man from a country called Greece Put his arse up for sale on a lease

[Helmut Shown]

Will Smith the actor and arse'ole. Is now playing the victim's role My hope for this rapper His career down the crapper His family out on the dole As she crouched down and got on all fours He pulled down the back of her drawers

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now Roman, kindly dry your eyes, You know how it works with the spies The laundry at Chelsea, :Snot now cleaning money.. And with luck the bent fucker dies. Will Smith the actor and arse'ole. Is now playing the victim's role."

[arsene york-hunt]

"Now Roman, kindly dry your eyes, You know how it works with the spies The laundry at Chelsea, :Snot now cleaning money.. And with luck the bent fucker dies. Will Smith the actor and arse'ole. Is now playing the victim's role."

[Mike Oxsaw]

"The joke from the lips of Chris Rock Made him look a bit of a cock. Result? Black-on-Black, No one gets the sack And woke, once again, runs amok. Now Roman, kindly dry your eyes, You know how it works with the spies."

[Hello Mrs. Jones]

This thread has kept me amused But only a few it seems will peruse It's certainly true There's an erudite few To the rest it's a bit of a snooze The joke from the lips of Chris Rock Made him look a bit of a cock

[cup of tea]

"A poster (who earns quite a wad), Was arrogant: acting the sod He was fed to the lions Shouting COME ON YOU IRONS and whistling the theme tune to Bod This thread has kept me amused But only a few it seems will peruse"

[Mike Oxsaw]

"A young girl, I think she was Dutch Liked to push objects up her crutch Skyscrapers, ships' funnels. Machines that made tunnels, Nothing for her was too much. A poster (who earns quite a wad), Was arrogant: acting the sod"

[Helmut Shown]

"In another story unlinked, They say that the dodo's extinct. With its big wally nose Dress it in clothes The Tottenham chairman distinct A young girl, I think she was dutch Liked to push objects up her crutch"

[arsene york-hunt]

"On Ukraine Boris has his say Hoping Partygate goes away It's true he's a prick, Uproar gives him a kick, And I've heard that he does crochet. In another story unlinked, They say that the dodo's extinct."