Pros and cons of sitting down to piss

[F 129 Row66]

I'll start: Pro. You can confidently fart whe sitting down

[Helmut Shown]

I can remember coming out of the Green Gate st Bethnal Green and stopped in an alleyway in Shorefitch for a piss. There was a crate of empty milk bottles on the ground and I managed to fill up three and a half of them. I always thought the Green Gate watered their beer.

[GBHammer63]

Dangling your balls in the water on a cold night wakes you up 

I’ve heard.

[F 129 Row66]

Con: Sitting on somebody elses urine when you are so busy dropping you trousers and pants, and realise somebody has pissed on  the seat; which you hadn't seen in your desperation to micturate.**

** A fancy way of saying piss (verb)

[Bungo]

Some have made the (valid) point that sitting down to piss when pissed is a good idea. This is mostly true unless you have not made absolutely sure that your knob is pointing downwards. If you get this wrong even once, and piss over the front lip of the bog and into your pants and jeans, you will never have 100% confidence in this technique again…

I once made the mistake of attempting a sit down piss when blind drunk, I didn't realise the seat was down and crushed my own balls 

This reminds me of a fast ‘boat taxi’ I found myself in earlier this year off the coast of Corfu. The sea was quite rough so the boat would occasionally jump quite high in the air before smashing down on the sea again. I did find myself smashing down on my own balls on at least one occasion.

Really no fun at all…

[Far Cough UKunt]

[Massive Attack]

Same old West Ham, taking the piss.

[only1billybonds]

Apparently 5.8 minutes is the time for the longest slash recorded by a bloke.

My own PB is 57 seconds.

Any takers?

[Massive Attack]

I have to take a quarter of a Viagra to stop me pissing on my slippers

[Nurse Ratched]

i stand up to sheet

Arf!

[Cabbige Savage]

i stand up to sheet

[Sarge]

Sitting down mitigates the risk that the 'occasional 20% flow' that inexplicably goes off in another direction, doesn't soak what ever is drying on the hot rails - eg cricket whites 

[Helmut Shown]

I have to take a quarter of a Viagra to stop me pissing on my slippers

[honky cat]

Many years ago I had a mate who would get absolutely anyalated go home fall asleep and piss and shit everywhere during the night 

He once fell down the stairs whilst pissing from the top of the landing and shit in his sister's wardrobe.

During a lads holiday in Greece we had to evict him from the apartment after he shit in the kitchen and someone's suitcase.

He thought it was funny and refused to moderate his drinking or seek help.

His not so finest hour though was after a particularly heavy night on the sauce going home with a seedy old bloke called Barry to watch porn and smoke some weed only to wake up with his trousers around his ankles and Barry giving him a blow job.

It is debatable which was the worst decision going of with old  Bazza or telling us all about it in the pub the next day as the  piss was ripped mercilessly for months until he moved on to Milton Keynes with some fat bird and her kids 




 

What a heartwarming tale
 

[THUNDERCLINT]

MY DOCTOR INSISTS I SIT DOWN AS HE DOESNT WANT ME LIFTING HEAVY WEIGHTS

Your gut apron.

[Fauxstralian]

MY DOCTOR INSISTS I SIT DOWN AS HE DOESNT WANT ME LIFTING HEAVY WEIGHTS

[Jean-Luc Paul Goddard]

It's more to do with using cubicles, Mr Anon.

People go in there to shit, or to take gear, or to sit down piss.

I do none of them on a night out.

I doubt very much that many men go into a public cubicle to do a sit down piss. How would you know anyway unless a) they're doing it with the cubicle open or b) you're looking over the top, ya dirty perv?

[Gary Strodders shank]

Many years ago I had a mate who would get absolutely anyalated go home fall asleep and piss and shit everywhere during the night 

He once fell down the stairs whilst pissing from the top of the landing and shit in his sister's wardrobe.

During a lads holiday in Greece we had to evict him from the apartment after he shit in the kitchen and someone's suitcase.

He thought it was funny and refused to moderate his drinking or seek help.

His not so finest hour though was after a particularly heavy night on the sauce going home with a seedy old bloke called Barry to watch porn and smoke some weed only to wake up with his trousers around his ankles and Barry giving him a blow job.

It is debatable which was the worst decision going of with old  Bazza or telling us all about it in the pub the next day as the  piss was ripped mercilessly for months until he moved on to Milton Keynes with some fat bird and her kids 



 

[only1billybonds]

Mr Anon.

I did that exact thing many years ago. My now grown up kids will refer to it as the night Dad sat on his own nuts.

[Lee Trundle]

It's more to do with using cubicles, Mr Anon.

People go in there to shit, or to take gear, or to sit down piss.

I do none of them on a night out.

[Mr Anon]

Some have made the (valid) point that sitting down to piss when pissed is a good idea. This is mostly true unless you have not made absolutely sure that your knob is pointing downwards. If you get this wrong even once, and piss over the front lip of the bog and into your pants and jeans, you will never have 100% confidence in this technique again…

I once made the mistake of attempting a sit down piss when blind drunk, I didn't realise the seat was down and crushed my own balls 

[Mr Anon]

Never trust a bloke that sits down to piss for a non medial reason.

Stick with that rule, and you'll go far in life.

never trust a bloke that knows about other men's pissing habits

[the coming of gary]

Round and round on the grass, a big Helicopter piss
.
 

[Bungo]

Some have made the (valid) point that sitting down to piss when pissed is a good idea. This is mostly true unless you have not made absolutely sure that your knob is pointing downwards. If you get this wrong even once, and piss over the front lip of the bog and into your pants and jeans, you will never have 100% confidence in this technique again…

[Far Cough UKunt]

Even if I was absolutely pissed out of my skull and it's three in the morning in pitch black, I always without fail, ........piss all over the floor.

[El Scorchio]

Pro- don’t have to turn any lights on in the middle of the night if going for a piss seen as I don’t have my contact lenses in and the bathroom is almost pitch black and I’d rather not accidentally piss all over the seat and floor or turn the light on and wake myself up more than necessary.